A good marriage doesn't just happen. It takes a lot of hard work. And the quicker we learn this, the better prepared we are when the original love feelings have run out.
We are all creatures of habit. From the moment we wake up right until we drift off to sleep again, we follow a daily routine that is made up of habits. Ask yourself, am i doing the same old stuff with my partner, over and over again in the same boring sequence? Or, am i actively injecting life and joy into my marriage by doing different things in different ways?
Remember how things were when you first met your spouse and started going out? You went out together to do fun things. Almost everything you did was powered by the love you felt for one another. Then, as hormones waned, that original flame started to flicker, and before long, you'd stopped doing loving things for one another. Too often we forget to take care of our love for our spouse due to our busy life and this is why so many relationships start to crack between four and ten years of marriage. May couples quite when their feelings of being in love disappear. They think it's gone forever and they'll never get it back, so they
either get divorced and try with a new partner or carry on in a cold, passive marriage. What they don't know is that real and lasting love must be actively pursued after the
hormone based emotional feelings have run out.
It's a difficult and painful when you lose your original love. Something you need to do before it happens. For a start, have a heart-to-heart with your spouse about your daily habits, and honestly consider which ones can be modified a
little or chucked out altogether.
CommunicationThis is one of the most important element. A meaningful conversation will develop and keep the channels open at all times, by talking about your day, your feelings, interests and hobbies.
Edit YourselfCareless words, once spoken, can deeply crush your spouse's spirit and cause permanent damage.
BehaviourThe most successful marriage are those which have committed at the very start of the relationship to keep a low-tolerance level for bad behaviour - yelling and abusive language.
Show respects and politenessTreat your spouse as the most special person in the world!
Graciously accept apologiesForgiveness is important. Do accept a sincere apology is offered.
HonestyMost people keep
secrets about themselves from their souses
because they're
afraid of possible rejection if the truth is revealed. Honesty builds trust, so be willing to be open.
Take time to listenBe a great listener, encourage your partner to pour out his or her thoughts, especially on the tough time at work.
DatingMake time for just the two of you at least once a week.
Find time to laughLearn how to make your spouse laugh when things get really down.
ActivitiesTry new activities which can do together - dance lessons, ice-skating. The importance is to keep you both happy with the same topic.
That's what marriage is all about!